No resolution is better than an unrealistic one
The past few years, I have pointedly not made New Year's resolutions. It is not that I don't want to make any changes in my life. It is because there are not enough years for all the changes to get their own year, even should I live to a ripe old age. Unless, of course, I made the resolutions very general and therefore virtually meaningless. (Be healthy. Yeah.) So for me to work on all these changes, I will have to integrate them all into my daily life throughout each year.
But there is another, even more important, reason for my not making New Year's resolutions. The idea of a New Year's resolution implies a sudden, dramatic change in a person's habits. Such changes can rarely be maintained. "I am going to start exercising every day." Sure you are. Then, after about a month, you will be back on the couch, playing Minecraft with your son while the two of you should be outside playing ball or riding bikes.
Actually, I do exercise often. But I didn't make this habit as part of a New Year's resolution--at least, not one resolution. I made it as part of a series of resolutions made day-by-day, every day I came home from work wanting desperately to indulge in a nice high-carb snack and take a long nap, and instead made myself get out there for a walk or run, each time coming home feeling less tired and less hungry. I took many steps back during the process, many times opting for the carby snack and long nap instead. Lost a lot of weight, gained much of it back, lost it again, gained again, lost again.
That is to say, change is a process that takes place in small steps over a long period of time. There is nothing new here. It is a truth widely understood--and widely ignored, as people continue to attempt to make big changes in the short term, wanting (understandably) quick results.
Part of the problem is that people sometimes do get quick results, which can give them unreasonable expectations. They lose 10 pounds in two weeks. They feel much more energy. But sooner or later, the dramatic, impressive results begin to plateau. The weight loss stops; the initial excitement of a new lifestyle ebbs; you begin to get bored; you lapse back into your old habits.
This is where you have to get more sophisticated about your lifestyle change. Expect this ebbing of initial big results to occur. If you continued to lose 10 pounds every two weeks, you'd soon be nothing. And of course you're going to get bored doing the same exercise routine, or eating the same healthy dishes, every day for months.
Becoming sophisticated about personal change means accepting that the most important consequences of change are not the immediate ones that give you great excitement in the beginning, but the long-term ones that give you better health and satisfaction over many years (and, in all likelihood, more years than you would otherwise have). It also means accepting that if you want to continue to get excitement, you are going to have to change it up. Look for different healthy foods. Try different modes of exercise. Challenge yourself to run a faster mile or a longer distance. If you don't get down to your ideal weight, you will still be far healthier than if you continued to eat poorly and not exercise.
The same principle of small change applies to other common resolutions. A big one for me is to stop procrastinating. I am going to make this my resolution this year, and then follow it the year after that, the year after that at the latest. Seriously, it will take that long to really make a dent in my procrastination habit. In the time that passes from December 31 to January 1, you are not going to go from someone who puts off every project until the last minute to someone who gets every project done promptly, with weeks to spare.
What is going to happen is that, by setting challenging but achievable goals, like forcing yourself to work on a project for 15 minutes at a time when you really, really don't feel like it, you will, over time, reduce your procrastination by 50 or 60 percent. You will put in your 15 minutes, take a break, put in another 15 minutes, procrastinate for two days, then finish the project 30 minutes before you otherwise would have. Next project, 60 minutes. Next project, you'll wait until the last minute again. Next project, you'll finish it with two days to spare. Back to procrastination again. And maybe some day, you'll be the person who gets stuff done without putting it off--most of the time. And good for you. But you're not going to make this change in a month or a year.
It is important to understand this because understanding it will affect your attitude when you find yourself slipping back into your old habits. Instead of thinking, "I failed; I might as well give up", you will think, "I had some success at first, but of course I ran into problems, because I tried to do too much to soon. Disappointing, but oh well. Let me set some smaller goals and work my way toward the larger goal step-by-step."
You might want to try not making a New Year's resolution this year. Or, if you must make one, let it be a resolution to make changes gradually, through small steps, perhaps starting with easier goals and working your way up to more challenging ones.
